Authenticity and Belonging

A long time ago, probably during school, I understood that I was inconvenient enough to be felt, but good enough to be needed.

It wasn’t a clear conclusion at the time. It was more of a feeling.
That kind of subtle tension that occurs when you say what is on your mind and notice how the room becomes a little quieter.
When you ask a question that wasn’t on the list.
When you see things that others prefer to leave untouched.

So sometimes we feel like we have to choose between authenticity and belonging.
On the one hand, there is the deeply human desire to belong. To be accepted. To feel that we have a place in a group, a team, a family, or a community.
On the other hand, there is authenticity. The inner voice that observes, asks questions, feels nuances, says “this doesn’t fit” or “I think there’s a better option.”

This choice is also clearly seen in recruitment processes.
Whether we are candidates or employers, we want authenticity, but we also evaluate how much we belong to that group.

We claim to want people who bring new perspectives, but we often feel most comfortable with those who don’t question the way we work.

So when we have someone different from us in front of us, it can help to give them space and ask ourselves:
– What new perspective can this person bring to me?