If you are a manager or leader, and you feel disappointed in a person or team’s performance, belittling and browbeating simply will NOT work to increase long-term performance. You may get short-term improvement, but you will not get sustainable change. In fact, you’ll have the opposite impact. You’ll undermine trust and kill motivation, potentially driving away your best talent.
If this is you, try this approach. Think about what you want to say (you’re never prepared, you look weak and shaky, you aren’t demonstrating leadership, etc.), then take a moment in private and think about what you DO want and then define exactly what that means. For example, “you’re never prepared” turns into “I want you to walk into meetings prepared, which means dressed professionally, having read materials ahead of time, being ready to present material as the subject matter expert in the room, answering questions based on your knowledge and experience, etc.”
Set clear expectations by defining exactly what you DO want. Let your people know what it would look like, sound like, and/or feel like if they met your expectations and performed well.
After you set expectations, ask them what they need to meet the expectations and to perform at their best. Then support them. Offer them what they need and show up for them every day. Give feedback. Acknowledge success, progress, and even failures. If they fail, ask them what they learned and what they would do differently next time.
We all feel frustration, and that’s okay. What’s not going to help is taking that frustration out on your people. Find an objective partner in a leadership coach where you can safely vent your feelings then work to manage them and turn them into effective action. Working with a leadership coach can help and support you to be a better leader to your people, manage yourself better, clearly articulate your expectations, give better feedback, and build long-term, sustainable improvement.